This month feels quite emotionally charged because of various things in my personal life and whats happening in the world. A couple of things that have affected me;
Tommy Thomas released a new book detailing Malaysian politics from the 1960s and his time as the AG of Malaysia. I read the first 3/4 of the book in about 2 days, and the book is 500 pages! I realised there's so much I don't know about Malaysian history and the background to why things are the way they are now. Its quite depressing that they made us learn such useless things during history at school like tamadun islam and local tokoh anti-penjajah when we could have been learning about the political background post independance. Everything from 1957 has shaped the way Malaysia is today and the rising anti-tolerant population and increasing corruption in government. The last few chapters of the book caught up to present times, which is when I got a little disillusioned with TT's version of 'the truth'. Things I actually lived through and read about in real time in the media is contrary to what he portrays in the book and it starts to feel like he's trying to save his skin and change public opinion of him. Overall it's been such a good read and I want to start reading up more on Malaysian politics.
We finally let the cats outdoor for the first time! I'd been impatiently waiting to let them out since the first day we got them because they are both indoor cats and I thought it would be so exciting for them. Every other day I'd beg James to let them out but he was adamant to follow the 2 week rule and then we took them to the vet to get microchipped and the vet said 3 weeks would be better which extended my waiting time. We finally let them out last Sunday and I was so stressed. I don't know why but I thought they'd just lounge around in the garden where I could see them but they immediately decided to jump the fence and leave. They came back after 30 mins but I was so worried the whole time. Chairman Meow especially, is so big and fluffy he looks like a Maine Coon which makes me nervous that someone will steal him.
The cats are settling in well, but they still have episodes where they're extremely clingy which can be so frustrating. I've read that they need 20 mins of playtime twice a day per cat. Which is what we do. But sometimes they refuse to play, refuse to go out and refuse to be stroked. They just want to sit on my chest and put their butts to my face which can get really annoying when you're in the middle of something.
When reading TT's new book I discovered that his 26 year old daughter committed suicide. This really shook me. Having a parent like TT who gave her the best life had to offer, and she committed suicide anyways. The death of Thomas Raskin, the son of an American senator who was at Harvard and extremely wealthy also made me question why do people in good situations choose to kill themselves, whilst others who are battling illness or poverty struggle to survive. It doesn't make sense to me how someone with seemingly everything chooses to end it.
It feels like everything is going wrong in the world. I just read that many developed countries are blocking the proposal to suspend patents during the pandemic. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why would they want to block other countries from having access to the covid vaccine? How do so many people in so many parliaments across the globe decide that healthcare goes to the highest bidder. I feel like too much of the world only look out for themselves, and nothing can change when the majority are morally inept. Countries in the map below marked X are blocking the suspension of patents.
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| SOURCE: (Doctors without borders Australia) https://twitter.com/MSFAustralia/status/1361179518585606144?s=20 |
There have been so many instances in my life where something unaceptable to me and I just let it go because it was rude to 'talk back'. It got to a point where I started to react to everything in retalliation. Now when I hear something unacceptable to me I just keep quiet and process the information. There is no point arguing with someone who is so set in their ways that they'll never change. But I don't see people the same light anymore, and its just shocking how those closest to me can have racist bigoted principles and no one says anything and accepts their views. Silence when injustice is happening makes you complicit in the injustice. Interestingly, my siblings have accepted this much easier then I have. I wonder if they agree, or did they realise earlier that its easier to just listen and nod than stand up to someone who will never change.
The bleak state of politics in Malaysia. Now I understand why adults used to be so glued on to the news. Every news cycle brings more bad news which we should be used to by now but is still incredibly shocking. Rina Harun the Malaysian Women, Family and Community Development minister just got a full body makeover including plastic surgery and liposuction during a pandemic and is now doing photoshoots. She's paid of her RM1.4million debt and bankruptcy proceedings against her have been dropped. How stupid are we? Why do we have such idiots running the country? Basically anyone can become a politician in this day and age. You can do anything, say anything. The lack of integrity is upsetting and whats worse is there's nothing we can do about it except from ranting about it on twitter.
Trump organised a whole coup and he still couldn't get impeached because they made it a partisan issue. That's the main thing about politics its always a partisan issue when actually most things that need to be done are bypartisan. Healthcare, safety, poverty these should all be bipartisan issues. Yet its treated as liberal propaganda when you demand accountability from corrupt leaders that have been in the same position for 15 years with a lifestyle that visibly exceeds their paychecks.
Some good things before I sign off this very angry post.
The piano has been a good distraction for me. I like finding pieces online and trying to play them. I like that even though many pieces are difficult at first, eventually I'm able to play it with enough practice.
I started making an effort to call my grandma more frequently and she always seems genuinely excited and happy to talk to me. Its rare that I get these displays of affection and it really means alot.
I was having a really bad day and my dad sent me a very nice message. There was a girl I knew in school who posted a message from her dad on facebook when she was going through a tough time and I always wondered what that would feel like. And now I do!
