Chairman Meow and Napolean

James and I have both had cats growing up and have always loved cats. In 2020, my cat Lola died after 9 years with us. She was already a grown cat when we adopted her, or when she adopted us. She was a stray and when we moved house in 2013 she decided that she wanted to live with us. James had Connie which was his childhood cat. 

We'd been researching shelters for a month now, and we emailed about 5 different places usually getting no response. The last shelter James emailed replied saying that there were too many people and too few cats and to look elsewhere. Honestly shelters here are so difficult to deal with, they have a million questions on their application form and then never get back to you except to say that they've got too many adopters and not enough cats. But then the cats are still on their website? It made me think that shelters prefer donations from people rather than people actually adopting the cats. 

So we started searching on gumtree. I'd shortlist potential cats and send them to James and usually about a day later the ad would be gone. Last Sunday I sent messages to two ads minutes after they had been posted and one came back saying the cat was gone and the other replied yes they're available! The cats owner was leaving the country and had to rehome 2 ginger cats who were brothers about a year old. They had been with a previous owner since birth, and had lived with the 2nd owner for a few months. I asked when could we take them and she said she'd be in all day and we could get them that day itself! 

We rushed to Morrisons to get cat litter and cat food, which we didn't need to get in the end because the cats previous owner gave us so many toys, litter trays, and food. Drove 1 hour to Riddlesdon north-west of Wakefield and picked up at the cats. Everything happened so quickly when we got there. She had been expecting us and had the door opened. She packed everything up and left them outside the house and we loaded everything into the car. The entire back seat and boot was filled with cat stuff. She placed a big carrier with the two cats outside last. They looked terrified, it was so sad. Their big eyes open wide wondering what was going on. It wasn't very emotional, the woman didn't ask many questions about where we lived or if we had other pets/ kids in the house. It made me a little sad that she didn't want to know more because these cats were part of her family and she was giving them up. But they were so well looked after and had so many toys and treats that they seemed like very well-loved cats. 

I sat with the cats in the back seat and we started driving back. They were meowing and didn't like the drive back. 20 mins in and one of the cats did a massive poo in the carrier and the whole car started to stink. Had the windows down and I think this scared the cats even more because of the wind and the loud motorway. I started to panic because the cats were rolling around in the poo and meowing really loudly to be let out. Kept looking at the clock every 3 mins and it felt like the longest car ride. 

When we got home we locked the cats in the upstairs bathroom while we took everything out of the car and unpacked their things into the kitchen as a bonding room. When we got upstairs to clean the cats they had walked around and gotten poo on everything. Bathed the cats and then spent an hour washing and cleaning the bathroom and then deep cleaning it again the next morning with bleach. It was fine after that second clean but it was starting to get extremely overwhelming for me. 

Cats seemed fine downstairs. Napolean was extremely skittish and scared, but Chairman Meow had started letting us give him strokes and would come up to us and give us head butts. Locked them in the kitchen for the night and the next morning they were scratching at the door wanting to be let out. Let them explore the house and they were so curious going into every room, sniffing everything, climbing everywhere. Honestly, cats get everywhere! Had to lock myself in the lounge to cat-proof it because all our power tools were out and they were meowing at the door to be let in. I've never had cats that were this clingy and honestly at this point I started to panic at how much attention they needed. That night was the worst because we didn't lock them in the kitchen and let them explore, which meant I had cats jumping on my face and head at 2am and meowing for attention. Can't handle 2 cats, I can't imagine me having kids and having to deal with that. 

At this point I was getting really stressed because they need so much attention during the day and don't let you sleep through the night. They also get cat hair everywhere and I was getting watery eyes and allergies. James said if he had to choose between me and the cats it would be the cats so do something about the allergies!!! Night 2 I shut the bedroom door but ended up being woken up every hour from the cats scratching the door wanting to be let in and then ripping up the carpet. To be honest the morning after that I was so stressed that this was going to be life from now on. James said they would settle soon and we should try locking them in the kitchen overnight because it doesn't have a carpet. Success! Good nights sleep, and happy cats in the morning. We got a feather toy which seriously tires out cats because its on a long extended stick. So you can wave it around and the kittens get a massive workout and you don't even have to move. They started to settle by day 4 and were much more independant. I'm even starting to miss how much they used to trail around me. 

I've been wanting to let them into the garden since we got them but James is adamant they we keep them indoors until they've been here 2 weeks which is exactly a week from now. Its just so exciting letting them out for the first time since their previous owners only kept them indoors. I need to be patient... which is extremely difficult for me. Really enjoying having the cats around now and I love how they snuggle up close when they want to nap and how they run up to you when they see you. 

Its definitely alot of work though. Previously I had so much support, kakak basically did everything for the cats. I feel quite bad because as an adult I'm so aware of what the cats needs are and what needs to be done for them eg 2 sessions of 20 mins playtime per day per cat. I didn't know/ research anything when I had my previous cats when I was 15. Its very rewarding and I'm so happy to have cats in our home, but its also a big responsibility and something I want to do right. 

Very excited for this new chapter of us + the meows! 

Cancel Culture

This weekend the KL legal twitter exploded with some pretty disturbing news. Allegations of sexual assault against a prominent local lawyer came out which the accused then denied. What was shocking was the fact that some people were so quick to defend the accused and blamed it on the accuser. As a woman, I can't imagine what you would gain by going public with information like that? Not only would you have to face trolls berating you for the same choices they are probably making too, but you risk exposing your own dirty laundry to the world. The only times when I've personally ranted on social media like that is when I've felt helpless or there isn't anyone that I could talk to and I just need to vent. So, I understand why she decided to call out her abuser. She probably felt like she had no other option for her own sanity, and also to warn others and protect them from him as he is someone in the public eye. 

I think society tends to blame women when bad things happen to them. Malaysian society tends to perpetuate victim blaming and places the burden on women to be the bigger person even when men behave immorally. The decision for her to come out and share her story must have taken so much courage and even now she must feel so threatened with all the online trolls. What's worse is seeing people I used to know and work with make statements siding with the abuser. Just because its your friend who you know to be a good person, you're going to completely disregard this woman's traumatic experience? 

I just feel dissapointed that in this day and age some men act like they are superior to women, and there are women that agree with this and don't hold these men to a higher standard. Just because you're well liked and well known and are in a respectable proffession and position does that then give you a free pass to behave as you like? 

If I were in her position I'd probably have thought that it wasn't worth the hassle. Dealing with the judgment and hate society throws at you, making you relive the trauma again. But then this makes it harder for other victims to come out. Its so brave to come out and fight for yourself no matter the consequence. 

Recently cancel culture has become quite common. Do something wrong, and you get called out and cancelled and you're deemed problematic. To be honest, previously when I've decided someone wronged me, thats it I was done. I'm out of there, no one deserves a second chance. But people aren't perfect I'm sure I've done bad things without realising it too and I'm sure those close to me have given me second chances. I think the lesson here is if you've done something wrong, own up to it and face the consequences and move on from that event. It just seems cruel to drag someone through the mud, particularly someone you were so intimate with just to clear your name. 

Believe victims, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for them to lay out the most vulnerable parts of their life for the world to see and scrutinise and pick apart. 

2021

Its January and a brand new year has started! 

2020 was definitely a challenging year for so many people. For me personally the lockdown itself wasn't as difficult because I had James with me. I started of 2020 skiing which was something completely new to me and I remember being terrified because my body just wasn't used to how strenuous skiing was and I felt inadequate compared to the rest who had been skiing for years. After a few lessons I felt like I could cope but again feeling like I'm always a few steps behind everyone else. I started running consistently and I can now easily run for an hour steadily. This is something I was never able to do before and I could never imagine myself as a 'runner'. It took practice and doing couch to 5k was such a strange experience for me because whilst you're doing it you don't feel like any change is happening at all. But after weeks and weeks of struggling and failing you get into a comfortable rhythm and realise that you CAN run. With running its more a mental struggle than a physical one which is not something I've been good at overcoming. 

I was in the middle of my masters when the pandemic struck in full swing. Lessons were cancelled and everything moved online. I enjoyed the first semester of my masters but having everything online completely ruined the experience of the 2nd semester. I feel even worse for those in their first year of degree who are now doing it virtually. The masters itself was really quite challenging and on hindsight I wonder if I would have chosen the same Masters had I known there would be a pandemic. The Maths aspect of the course was really difficult and I'm so proud of those results in particular. 

Since March 2020 this whole year has been a mixture of total lockdown, tier systems, and different lockdown rules, social distancing. At first I felt unaffected by this and things felt OK but after a while it did start to wear down on me. Especially when the rules in KL were relaxed and most people were on family holidays and attending weddings and things seemed like it was getting back to normal there. We were initially going to go back to KL whilst waiting for the new house to be built but because the cases were still quite bad Malaysia closed its borders, and its still closed now until March 2021. 

Living in James mums' house was also an experience because I had never lived with anyone for such a prolonged period of time that wasn't my own house or my parents house. Its difficult adapting to a new situation even though his mum was extremely gracious and treated us really well whilst we were there. She went above and beyond by cooking for us and cleaning and trying to give us as much space as possible. 

The main lesson that I want to take with me to 2021 is to have more patience, to be more positive, and to not get so worked up over something small. There have been plenty of times this year where I thought I knew best but no one really does and I want to be more flexible and adapt better to bad situations. More compassionate and kind when dealing with others. 

BEN NEVIS

Day 9 

We had planned to leave the B&B by 8 so that we could start making our way up Ben Nevis by 8.30. Since it was autumn/winter, it was going to be pitch black around 5 so we definitely needed to back by then. This didn't leave much time for breaks or to stop and have lunch. Had a massive cooked breakfast and croissant at the B&B before we left. 

It was a short 5 minute drive from the B&B to the base of Ben Nevis. We parked and started walking to the starting point steps. I was wearing Doc Martens which would prove to be a horrible decision after a few hours of climbing. James had bought proper lightweight waterproof hiking boots. To be honest, I started feeling out of breath and slightly tired after 10 minutes and we had only crossed the bridge and gotten to the starting point. The first leg of the climb was a winding path up the mountain. Not too bad because it was only a slight incline. After about 45 minutes of this then the real challenge started with the steps.  

View after 45 minutes up

Part 2 of the journey was steps. This was much harder because the steps could be shaky in some places and you could lose your footing if you weren't paying attention to where you were going. It started to pour at this point which made the weather quite humid. Steps went on for a few hours and we met lots of people going up at this point. 

Looks harmless but is actually really hard on your knees and
after 2 hours of this it can get quite exhausting. 

Bumped into this other couple who wanted us to take a picture of them
and we got a picture of us. My top looks so awkward because I
 stuffed a whole tissue box in my coat.

Stepped over this to get to the other side. Some parts of the mountain didn't have
a set path and you had to cross over water. 

I didn't take any picutres of the midway point, because we didn't stop for breaks and were powering through to get to the top and back down before it got dark. The midway point was a lake in the middle of the mountain and this is where the terrain completely changes. From seeing sheep and greenery, it becomes mostly snow and ice and rocks. Part 3 of the climb was just winding snow and ice up the mountain for another 2 hours. It got much darker at this point because we were quite high up and although the weather was good we were surrounded by fog and mist. The snow was manageable but the ice was so slippery and if you fell, you couldn't tell if you'd land on snow or a rock hidden under the snow. I fell a couple times here. It was also frustrating because my feet were really starting to hurt and I knew I'd have blisters soon and my feet were slightly wet. People started passing us by quite often too and this made me feel like we were losing our pace. Almost everyone was better dressed than us with crampons, hiking poles, and proper hiking boots and packs. Definitely regretting the shoes at this point. 

Part 4 of the climb was the worst. I was so cranky by this point I feel so bad for James on hindsight having to put up with me. The snow and ice made it so slippery and if you fell down you didn't know if it would be a pile of snow or rock that you were landing on. Each step felt so heavy and my heels started feeling really painful. After an hour of this you reach the last stretch where its so foggy all you can see is one boulder (cairns) in front of you. It was so frustrating not knowing how many boulders you were going to pass before you reached the top. The snow was up to my knees and seeped into my boots so my feet were completely soaked. The top of the mountain felt like you were going through a blizzard. I could barely see 2 feet infront of me and we thought we were the last ones on the mountain. We quickly ran to the little hut on the top, the 'marker' that you made it all the way. James climbed up and got in, I climbed up but didn't go in because the door had nails in it and getting a cut on the top of the mountain during a blizzard didnt seem like a good idea. At this point we decided to go back down and on the way we saw 5 other groups going up. They were much better prepared than us with crampons and hiking poles but there's no way they'd make it to the top and back down before it got dark.

The journey down was much quicker, despite falling down a few times. Our legs were so shaky at this point from exhaustion but we didn't take any breaks going down. 3 hours and we were at the base but I started to panic because I couldn't see the bridge and my knees and feet were so blistered at this point I just wanted to get off the mountain. Finally reached got to the base camp Glen Nevis and the minute I saw the car park the feeling of pure relief. My feet were aching and later when I took off my boots I realised that the docs had bitten into my heel and the skin had peeled off. The shower after was extremely painful and I had blood blisters which I couldn't pop. Basically my feet were gone. 

Despite all of this it was such a thrill knowing that I climbed Ben Nevis!! James is used to doing things that are physically challenging but its different for me. I rarely do things out of my comfort zone. Definitely looking forward to more thrills in the new year.