Cancel Culture

This weekend the KL legal twitter exploded with some pretty disturbing news. Allegations of sexual assault against a prominent local lawyer came out which the accused then denied. What was shocking was the fact that some people were so quick to defend the accused and blamed it on the accuser. As a woman, I can't imagine what you would gain by going public with information like that? Not only would you have to face trolls berating you for the same choices they are probably making too, but you risk exposing your own dirty laundry to the world. The only times when I've personally ranted on social media like that is when I've felt helpless or there isn't anyone that I could talk to and I just need to vent. So, I understand why she decided to call out her abuser. She probably felt like she had no other option for her own sanity, and also to warn others and protect them from him as he is someone in the public eye. 

I think society tends to blame women when bad things happen to them. Malaysian society tends to perpetuate victim blaming and places the burden on women to be the bigger person even when men behave immorally. The decision for her to come out and share her story must have taken so much courage and even now she must feel so threatened with all the online trolls. What's worse is seeing people I used to know and work with make statements siding with the abuser. Just because its your friend who you know to be a good person, you're going to completely disregard this woman's traumatic experience? 

I just feel dissapointed that in this day and age some men act like they are superior to women, and there are women that agree with this and don't hold these men to a higher standard. Just because you're well liked and well known and are in a respectable proffession and position does that then give you a free pass to behave as you like? 

If I were in her position I'd probably have thought that it wasn't worth the hassle. Dealing with the judgment and hate society throws at you, making you relive the trauma again. But then this makes it harder for other victims to come out. Its so brave to come out and fight for yourself no matter the consequence. 

Recently cancel culture has become quite common. Do something wrong, and you get called out and cancelled and you're deemed problematic. To be honest, previously when I've decided someone wronged me, thats it I was done. I'm out of there, no one deserves a second chance. But people aren't perfect I'm sure I've done bad things without realising it too and I'm sure those close to me have given me second chances. I think the lesson here is if you've done something wrong, own up to it and face the consequences and move on from that event. It just seems cruel to drag someone through the mud, particularly someone you were so intimate with just to clear your name. 

Believe victims, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for them to lay out the most vulnerable parts of their life for the world to see and scrutinise and pick apart.